In this post we are going to look at how to stop worrying about others and focus on yourself. Are you one of those people that worries about what other people think of you? This kind of behavior can have a serious impact in your life by preventing you from being your true self. It can also prevent you from achieving your goals out of fear of what other people think of you if you were to fail.
It’s no good tailoring your life to fit other people’s expectations. If you are one of those people, then this guide will show you how to stop worrying about others and focus on yourself.
Let’s take a look at some of the common thoughts people have on a daily basis. These may sound very familiar to you.
- You allow people to control the way you live your life and the way you think about yourself.
- You always want to try and please everybody.
- You adapt your behavior to try and fit in because you want people to like you.
- You always assess what other people think of you.
- That vice inside your thoughts is constantly asking yourself “how am i being perceived?”.
If you constantly think or feel like this on a day to day basis, don’t worry you are not alone. A lot of people feel like this but it effects some people a lot more than others. If your one of those people who struggles with constantly with worry, this guide will show you how to stop worrying about others and focus on yourself.
Why Are You Trying to “People-Please”?
Everybody has a specific self-image with a mental picture of themselves of how they may appear to the rest of the world. This appearance is generally that of a loving human being who wants to do the right thing and be perceived as a great person. It’s great to be like this, but the problem is that it’s never enough to just have this image.
What most people want is validation that their image of themselves is accurate so they constantly seek evidence of this. You will seek this from your partner, family, friends, and even strangers. This then becomes really hard work to constantly maintain this illusion of yourself and you are putting yourself in an impossible situation.
This is due to the fact that on your journey for this confirmation, you will not always hear what you want to hear. There will be certain people or situations which will contradict the image you have of yourself. The effect of this will leave you feeling upset or even angry because you will feel like this is the wrong assumption of yourself and you will feel compelled to put it right.
This means that you are concentrating more on other people than on your own life because you are trying to people-please. The result of this means you will not achieve your own goals and dreams which will limit your potential as you go through life.
What You Will Need To Accept
- You don’t need praise.
- You don’t need approval.
- If somebody doesn’t like you then that’s okay.
- It’s okay if people criticize you.
- It’s more than okay for you to have an unpopular opinion.
- If your waiting for a compliment and you don’t receive one then that’s okay.
- It’s okay to offend somebody.
- If okay if your the odd-one-out and you don’t fit in.
- It’s okay to challenge people.
Things That Happen When You Stop Caring What People Think
When you stop caring what other people think, magical things will happen and your life will drastically change. Living life your way instead of trying to people-please well give you the following benefits.
- It will allow you to develop opinions and perspective on life.
- You will focus more attention on yourself where you will find out what drives and motivates you.
- Your thinking will be your own instead of being influenced by other people around you.
- Allows you to see other people’s real intentions.
- Allows you to escape negative energy and toxic people.
- Makes you realize the important things in life and what actually matters.
- You will learn to carve your on path in life instead of trying to create one that’s going to please others.
- You will experience complete freedom.
How To Stop Worrying About Others And Focus On Yourself
#1 Focus on what matters
Focusing on what really matters allows you to think more about the bigger picture. Doing this will make you think less about your individual role which will allow you to stop paying attention on what other people are thinking of you.
#2 Most people aren’t actually paying much attention
Most people are that concerned with their own thoughts and insecurities which means they spend more time thinking about themselves than thinking of others. The things you worry and stress over on a daily basis are not even being noticed by other people.
#3 Think positively about yourself
If you don’t feel great about yourself then this can make it easy to worry and stress about what other people think of you. Don’t allow yourself to feel insecure just because somebody says something negative about you. Other people’s opinions of you are completely irrelevant and it may be them that’s the problem and not you.
Analyze the character of the person who said negative things about you. Most of the time you’ll find that the bad words they said about you are more of a reflection of who they are and there insecurities. Be the person who you want to be from your own perspective.
#4 Stop criticizing yourself
Whenever that negative voice pops up inside your head, be aware of it and listen but do not react Avoiding your thoughts totally will actually cause more harm than good. Doing this will will just cause you to self-sabotage and you will never be happy. Appreciate and love yourself for who you are now.
#5 You know best
Nobody else is living your life so regardless of what other people think or say about you, only you know what’s best for you. This means that you learn much more about yourself through your own failures and mistakes you make in life.
#6 Mind your own business
Don’t even ask for other people’s opinions or what they think of you in the first place. The feedback you receive is more than likely coming from somebody who is unhappy and wired to think in a negative way. It’s okay if people criticise you and eventually you should be able to take it.
But when learning how to stop worrying about others and focus on yourself it’s best to just keep yourself to yourself and trust your own judgement and learn from your own mistakes.
#7 Stop overthinking and Try Not To Engage With Your Negative Thoughts
Overthinking is one of the worst things you can do. Doing this can lead you to think that you are being judged which will create an unhappy life. One of the best ways to stop overthinking is to practice meditation (more on this later).
There is also a great article on this blog called How To Let Go of The Past and Live in The Present which will help you in your quest to stop worrying about what other people think of you.
#8 Seek constructive feedback
It was mentioned previously about not asking for other people’s opinions. While this is true and it’s a great idea to stick by this, if you have friends who are very honest and will give you constructive feedback, this can also work great in your favor.
#9 Don’t try to please everyone
If you are one of these people who tries to please everybody then you are fighting an impossible battle. You could do the greatest things in the world and you’ll find that there’s always people who will disagree and try and bring you down with their own negativity. Instead of burning all of your energy trying to please everyone, do your own thing and if people dislike you because of it then so be it.
#10 Accept that other people have different opinions
Some people get angry or frustrated with what other people say, but you have to accept that other people have their own opinions and this is okay. Remember that an opinion is just an opinion, it’s not a fact. So don’t let it eat away at you, or even worse, change your own opinion just to please that person.
#11 Focus on the present moment
Focusing on the present moment allows you to forget about any negativity from the past, and prevents any anxiety or stress about what’s going to happen in the future. Here are some of the benefits of being present.
- Better concentration and focus.
- Better execution and attention to details that matter, especially under pressure.
- Vastly improved listening and memory skills.
- Able to distinguish what is important and what is not.
- Able to work much smarter.
- Better conflict resolution.
- More persistence and an increased effective ability to learn.
- Wiser, clearer decision making, especially in the moment.
You can also write a complete guide called How To Let Go of The Past and Live in The Present which you will find on this blog.
#12 Life’s is too short
Life is very short and certain events or situations in life will make you realize this. The last thing you want to do is to waste precious time out of your life people-pleasing and worrying about what other people think of you.
#13 Breathing and Meditation
Meditation will allow you to dissolve the negative talk going on inside your head and keep you focused on what really matters. Meditating on a daily basis will also allow you to love yourself and take control of your own life and feelings. Here are some other benefits of meditation.
- Reduces Stress
- Controls Anxiety
- Promotes Emotional Health
- Enhances Self-Awareness
- Lengthens Attention Span
- Can Generate Kindness
- Improves Sleep
- Helps Control Pain
- Can Decrease Blood Pressure
The best thing about breathing and meditation is you do not need much time and you can do it almost anywhere. Try meditating first thing on a morning and last thing on an evening before you go to sleep.
This is activity which most people struggle with. They either don’t want to exercise, or they think of a hundred excuses why they can’t do it. The thing is, not only is exercise good for your body, it’s also good for a healthy mind to provide you with the mental strength to overcome any worries or stress that life throws at you.
#15 Write Down Your Thoughts
Writing down your thoughts into a journal is a great way of letting go your worries. Here are some of the other benefits of using this technique.
- It clears your mind and readies it for decision-making.
- Clarifies underlying emotions.
- It gives you a record of your development.
- You gain a sense of fulfillment.
- It helps you to take action.
- Writing makes room for higher levels of thinking to take place.
- Writing helps you to feel like you’ve accomplished something.
- Writing helps you create a routine in your life.
Hope you enjoyed this post on how to stop worrying about others and focus on yourself. There are a lot of tips and techniques you can use on a daily basis to help you achieve this. If you have any questions, stories, or personal experiences, leave them in the comments section below.